Sunday, May 11, 2003

As I sat somewhere between Hesperus and Mancos Colorado overlooking the breathtaking La Plata's and the green trees and the greener valleys where cattle are grazing, I sat and thought. I thought about life. I thought about God. I thought about the future and the past. While looking out into the wide open space I know that there is a God. I know that He cares about what goes on in this world. However, at the same time I feel that I need Him right now. My life is getting ready to change drastically and I know that He can help get me through. Because I know that He will be the one that will be right beside me through the changes. I do not have to worry about that, but I am still scared. I do not want to leave the things that I have known for the last five years. I do not want to leave my friends, even though some of them are leaving. I do not want to leave behind my g/f who needs to leave this town almost as much as I do. I cannot stop change. I cannot deny change. And knowing that I will always have God with me makes it easier, makes it bearable. I know it could be much worse. What will happen will happen. I can fight it, or I can have faith and go with God through it.

(Faith may not be something that I can openly talk about. However, I feel a lot better writing it here. Yeah, its personal, but I believe that I am not the only one that struggles with faith. It's always comforting to know that we are not alone)

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