Tuesday, January 11, 2005


I am lacking inspiration like crazy right now. Work is so hectic, but I seem not to be getting as much done as I need or should get done. That is not necessarily because I lack inspiration, but that does not hurt the cause any. I continually ask myself if I am too tough on myself, too tough on my co-workers, or too tough on my supervisors. From my point of view I’ve never really worked (in a professional setting) for people who could “inspire” their employees. Yes, I have known many people who could inspire their employees, but I was not an employee at that time, or I was not necessarily fit to inspire at that time (long story). And maybe because I knew some very great people at and from my alma mater who are inspiring that I know people in this field can be inspiring. But then maybe I am blowing this whole thing out of proportion. I know I cannot lay blame, I know that I must accept my responsibilities and stick with the consequences of my actions. However, I seem to get “turned off” on people with whom I work with/for who do not have the drive, or who are driving for a completely different set of values than I hold. I think that is what makes me truly understand that I can only be where I am for a limited amount of time. I cannot make a career, and I cannot follow my passions in a place that does not have similar values nor can I work for an incredible amount of time with people who do not hold similar values. Sometimes I think I am a nut and only I hold these values in my field, but I know there are other people out there, I’ve met a few of them, I know some of them, unfortunately I cannot get there…yet.

I pray I can get back on track…quickly.

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