Sunday, August 31, 2003

Scattered thoughts

It is 2am and I am not really sure what is going on. No, I am not on drugs...other than the two Tums I ate a few minutes ago. I've been in this new place for about a month. It does not seem like a month, it seems longer. I only just began school, but it feels like I have yet to start. My life seems to move in slow motion, yet there seem to parts that are just skipped over. I am in a permanent haze, but things appear so much more clearly than before. It is as if God is saying "now that I have your full attention I am going to test you". It is true, right now there are very few "distractions" in my life. (And by distractions I do not mean negative things, just things that occupy my time). Yes, I work but I still contemplate at work. Yes, I have class but I still think in class. At my apartment my only things that occupy my time are: the phone, the TV, this computer, eating, reading, or writing. While this may seem like a lot, most of them can be done at the same time...or at least a combination of three of these things can be done at the same time. it gets later I just ramble more. Needless to say I have much more time to think since moving. I think its good in a way because it helps me regain my focus and regain and strengthen my relationship with God. But then again all the folks with whom I have a meaningful relationship are many many miles away. And there were some opportunities I had there that I do not have here (other than school of course) I sometimes wonder if there is a happy medium for me. Maybe this is something I am supposed to figure out right now. Right now in my personal life I desire to be closer to God, I desire to be closer to the people whom I love, I desire to have my own personal space and I desire to be on the path to my career. That is it for now.

Closing thought "love your neighbor as you love yourself"...not as easy as it quote a popular song "Where is the love?"

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