Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Complete Craziness

Hectic. School is hectic, work is really hectic and life, yes, life is also very hectic. I try to keep my self sane by praying, reading, writing and taking that occasional drive deep into the Ozark mountains. (Well not really "deep" more wherever the highway and God take me). So the Ozarks are absolutely beautiful. I could just walk and drive around them for hours on end. Northwest Arkansas is really a great place. Other than the way some folks drive, I have no complaints. But anyway...all the talk about the beauty of the state just makes me anticipate autumn even more.

Something is afoot right now. I cannot be sure whether is just me, or if the world as a whole is preparing for something new, different, and possibly life altering. I am sure its the lack of sleep that makes me talk of such rubbish. I know I am changing. I knew it would come as I forced myself into a new and unfamiliar situation. I was not expecting a smooth transition, I was not expecting a smooth anything. I expected bumps and dips and small crashes along the way. Maybe I underestimated, maybe I overestimated. But at least I estimated :-P. It is all so new, I feel like I am starting college all over again, but then again its nothing like starting college again.

I am filled with questions. If I were not I would be worried. I don't have answers, all I have are very subjective observations and unfounded guesses. Knowing that I don't have to know the answers is somewhat comforting, but not knowing the future also scares me.

The joke was when someone caught my grandfather talking to himself they would always ask him why he talked to himself. His response, "You have to have an intelligent conversation with somebody". While I am not necessarily talking to myself, nor I am necessarily providing any examples of any intelligence sometimes I must work things out for myself in writing. Instead of keeping this writing in my own written journal I write here in hopes of my better understanding myself.

I feel like Austin Powers, "let me allow myself to introduce...Myself"

On another note
I, like much of the blogging world it seems, am preparing to celebrate a blogging anniversary. yes, this blog is about to reach the big one year mark. Wow...I am sure I will have some comments on that later.

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